“How to Make Friends”
The 1 Thing, part 5
John 15:13-14
A. We’ve been trying to answer the question, “What’s the 1 Thing the church has to offer that you can’t get anywhere else?”
1) And by now we know that the answer to that question is, “A loving, growing relationship with Jesus Christ.”
2) There are a lot of things we can do as a church, but there’s only one thing that we should do as a church – introduce people to Jesus and invite them into that relationship.
B. We’ve talked about using the Friendship Filter as a way to look at church and ourselves in new ways.
1) The Friendship Filter says, “What do we do that invites people into that relationship or helps them to grow that relationship?”
2) As I ask that question I come to two conclusions.
a) We are doing a lot of things right. We’re doing some great things that draw people into a closer relationship with Jesus.
b) But, there are also some things that aren’t doing that and I don’t know about you but I want to make sure that everything we do draws people into relationships.
C. So focusing on the 1 Thing means focusing on relationships and that means making friends.
1) Only one problem, I don’t think most of us remember how.
2) Kids do!
3) So today is a refresher course on ‘how to make friends.’
D. I thing there’s a four-step process. It’s pretty self-explanatory. It looks like this:
1) Introduce yourself.
2) Go someplace inviting.
3) Make conversation.
4) Do stuff together.
5) I know. You’re saying, “Gee, pastor. You went to seminary to learn that?”
6) Yeah. I hear you; but if we think this way it will revolutionize the way we think of evangelism, mission, and we’ll start to think like friends.
E. That’s essentially what we’re talking about – thinking like a friend.
1) This is what the early church was known for.
2) Acts 2:42-47 says, “42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
3) People were drawn to the church not because the doctrine seemed right; not because the polity was good; but because they devoted themselves to one another!
F. So, let’s shake off our old pre-conceived notions about evangelism and walk through these four steps together.
II. First, introduce yourself.
A. There’s a protocol here.
1) Usually you begin with your name.
2) Then you say, “What do you do?”
B. Seems pretty simple, but what if we translate ministry opportunities as a chance to introduce ourselves.
1) That is the purpose of our Egg Hunt.
2) Introduce yourselves to someone next to you (who isn’t your spouse); ask them one question about themselves.
C. Simple. Easy. Uncomfortable for some.
1) But what if our entire ministry began there, with genuine interest in other people?
2) What if we looked for opportunities to pour ourselves into the lives of other people?
D. I think everything changes.
1) Some as simple as having a cookout with our neighbors becomes spiritual.
2) Nothing fancy, but it’s an opportunity to know each other.
3) And it begins with a simple introduction.
III. Second, go somewhere inviting.
A. Where are you most likely to talk?
1) A restaurant, a coffee shop.
2) Outdoors.
3) Around a fire.
4) In a comfortable living room.
B. Where are those places in our church?
1) Where is the comfortable couch, the place to sit and have coffee.
2) How often do we use our own homes and the restaurants, parks, and places around us for relationship building?
C. The question is this, “Are we willing to scrutinize everything in order to turn our church (the space and the people) into an inviting, comfortable place?”
IV. Third, make conversation.
A. How can all facets of our church’s life be opportunities for conversation?
1) Worship – sermons, sharing times.
2) Classes – make time for Q and A.
3) Team meetings – begin with sharing, prayer, conversation.
B. Here’s some ideas.
1) Tell stories. People respond to them.
2) Tell what God is doing in your life!
3) Spend some time in conversation with God.
a) Spending time with God in prayer is sharing in God’s story.
b) It takes prayer time to a whole new level.
c) Try this with your waitress.
V. Fourth, do things together.
A. You knew this was coming right, here’s the part where I hit you up to do more things. You knew there had to be a catch.
1) Not exactly. It’s not about more classes and meetings and doing more service.
2) It’s about making more time to do things together as friends.
a) When you have a friend you spend time with them.
b) You enjoy doing things together.
B. Think about it.
1) What can we do to spend more time together?
a) Camp Dodd.
b) Get together – dinner, movies, picnics, a Keys game.
2) Open up your home.
VI. Conclusion – As we conclude this series a couple of things are rattling around in my brain.
A. The friendship filter is a different set of lenses than the ones I usually wear.
1) At first, if I don’t intentionally put them on – I’ll forget.
2) And then my vision gets distorted.
B. If the 1 Thing is a relationship with Jesus it makes sense that we learn about that relationship through our relationship with others.
1) The horizontal and vertical are connected.
2) That reinforces for me the importance of the church. If its all about relationships then church becomes even more important than before (it becomes essential).
C. Finally, it seems clear that the 1 Thing is about doing ministry the way Jesus did ministry.
1) Think about it.
a) He introduced himself to a few.
b) Hung out with them.
c) Made conversation with them.
d) And they went everywhere together.
e) He poured himself and his time into them.
2) The result: great things were accomplished for the Kingdom of God.
a) It wasn’t the size of the meeting, it was the relationships that resulting in people meeting Christ in a deeper, more intimate way.
D. There’s a lot worth dying for – are your friends one of them?
1) Greater love has no man than this …
2) Is the friendship filter that much of a priority?
3) There is only 1 Thing. If we choose it, it will not be taken away from us. We will be greatly blessed.
end